A gastro-sexual culture has been brewing in Buenos Aires, where dining concepts are being aimed to stimulate much more than taste buds. Whether you want to dine with fellow swingers, lick up ejaculate-inspired desserts, pleasure your palate with aphrodisiac deliveries or indulge in oral orgies, Argentina’s capital is taking the term ‘Food Porn’ to a whole new level.
Food is sex (Photo: Mr. Dale)
Erotic Dining
A pioneer in the sexy eating world, Te Mataré Ramirez (Palermo Soho) is a Buenos Aires legend in the aphrodisiac dining scene. It was named after a friend of the owner, Ramirez, whose sensational appetite for the opposite sex led him into some trouble: “I will kill you, Ramirez!” apparently became a common phrase heard by the lovers and husbands of Ramirez’ many conquests.
The crowd is a mix of tourists, locals, and the token older Argentine man with high-heeled young arm candy (Ramirez would be proud). The décor of the restaurant could be compared to a 1990’s Dracula-inspired Cinemax late-night film showing, with a heavy hand of a boudoir red, velvet drapes, chandeliers and bizarre erotic clown art hung on the walls.
Each dish, created to give you that special tingly feeling inside, is given an over-the-top sexual, name, with the English translations making you feel just as uncomfortable to say as the originals. Start out with the fried calamari, aka “You scream with ecstasy while you beg for penetration,” or if you are in the mood for rabbit, order the “Your female swell annihilates me at night.” Other highlights of the menu include the lamb in a ragout mushroom sauce, (“You indecently drank the eruption of my pleasure”) or the “I tear out of enjoyment from your warm treasure with my flaming tongue,” a salmon Tataki served with an arugula, mint, orange and calamari salad.
While the food may not perform as well as you had hoped, you do at least get a show with dinner. Check the calendar for one of the many performances, ranging from nude tango simulations, erotic theater and short films, to my personal favorite: sexual puppet performances. Puppet porno, what a turn on!
Temptations (Photo: Simon Pais)
Known as the partner-swapping club and bar, the infamous Anchorena SW Swingers club (Barrio Norte) is also dabbling in erotic cuisine with their “alta cocina Gourmet” restaurant, Escrúpulos (Scruples). The reduced menu includes dishes like ‘Your innocence in my hands’, or more simply put, a Caesar chicken salad. For the main dish, try ‘The spot’ which is a bife de chorizo, and “Fantasies” for dessert, flambéed fruit with whipped cream. If you find yourself at Anchorena after dawn, and didn’t happen to fulfill your craving of huevos the night before, take advantage of their morning breakfast bar.
Not all of us are so overt with our gastro-sexual urges, so if you are a bit more discreet while dining, El Cocoroco (Amenábar 2301, Belgrano) is a more subtly sensual place. Along with a full menu of Peruvian favorites, El Cocoroco also offers dishes like the ‘Orgia de mariscos’ an “orgy” of seafood mixed with chili peppers and spices, leche de tigre (tiger milk) a Peruvian aphrodisiac, or a ‘Ceviche sensaciones’ - salmon ceviche with passion fruit juice.
Buenos Aires Delivery Afrodisíaco
New to Buenos Aires’ inexhaustible delivery scene, Bocados de Placer (Bites of Pleasure) claims to be the first delivery service of “aphrodisiac food and hot accessories” in the world. Following the Te Mataré Ramirez theme, Bocados offers four sensual-inspired dishes like “Tenderness that feeds my fantasy” - mixed greens with avocado, toasted almonds, cherry tomatoes and mushrooms served with a tomato-based vinaigrette - and “Your naked body, my weakness,” a mix of prawns and mussels in a light orange sauce.
Romantic delivery from Bocados de Placer
Once the food is chosen, it’s time to pick out your sexy accessory kit: romántico, erotico or salvaje (wild), depending on your mood. The romantic kit is designed for “loving couples who want to reaffirm their feelings,” while the erotic option is aimed for those who are looking for “new and exotic sensations,” and the wild kit made for those “daring couples in search for a night full of fantasy.”
Each kit also includes candles and soft music to set the mood. According to the company, the idea behind delivery afrodísiaco is for your “five senses to explode from exquisite sensual flavors… the goal is for couples to take time to look, touch, kiss and talk to one another – all in the intimacy of your house.”
Popping the Gastronomical Cherry
Max's Supper Club presents an erotic menu (Photo: Alexandra Lazar)
My first taste in sensual eating was at Max’s Supper Club, back in May of 2011. A fairly young puerta cerrada, chef Max Paarlberg puts a cultural spin on the classic closed-door restaurant by offering a five-course menu inspired by works of local artists. For the first installment, Chef Max cooked up Aphrodisiac-themed dishes to accompany Nicolás Uslé’s exhibit Psicosexual. Oysters were sensually slurped and chorizos were phallically eaten, before the climactic dessert course, featuring white and dark chocolate “(cum) shots”. With paintbrushes as utensils, diners were invited to paint the strangers next to them with the sweet dessert, and then lick it off. For a first time experience, it didn’t hurt too bad.
Some great birthday and/or special occasion ideas here! Thanks.
Besides the names, it would be interesting to mention which of the ingredients in these dishes have aphrodisiac qualities (some seafoods, chocolates and so on). The idea of dining on aphrodisiac foods sounds ridiculous if it’s done on setting and names alone- until you introduce the idea that the foods are actually real aphrodisiacs… then it makes dinner-dating a whole different experience! Personal favourites - Asparagus, ginger, chocolate, red-wine! Te matare Ramirez is a great name for a restaurant too!